Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize