Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Randomize
