She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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