Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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