Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
