I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
