Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
