I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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