It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
