plz talk dirty to me
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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