I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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