sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
