Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize