It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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