plz talk dirty to me
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
