very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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