I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
