She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
