I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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