that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
