Sober January is a disaster.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
