woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
