told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
