Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
