I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
