Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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