Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Also, beer. Big fan.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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