I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
