A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
