I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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