does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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