i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
