dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
