he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
