My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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