Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
