talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
