my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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