Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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