Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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