I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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