Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
