btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
