Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
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