Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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