Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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