Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
