just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
