you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
