So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
