I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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