Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
