You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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