I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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