This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
