Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
