i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize