I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he thought i was a dude.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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