Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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