We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize