Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
