That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just want nice things and good sex
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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