I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize