My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i think i just naturally attract stoners
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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