I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
