I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just blew my weed a kiss
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My life is pants optional.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
