do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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