just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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