Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
