Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
